Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It Was Not Meant To Be...part 3


2nd Year HS - Taken for Granted
Hindi na kami magkaklase nung 2nd year...actually, never na kaming naging magkaklase pang muli. At first, it was ok. Ahhh...oo nga pala. Bago pa nagsimula ang 1998 school year...bati na kami. One hot summer afternoon... he called me... may landline pa kami noon. Akala ko nga si Jo-anne (bestfriend from elementary) yung tumatawag..pero it was him.
Blogger: Hello?
Ali: Sorry.
Blogger: Huh? Jo-anne, ikaw ba yan?
Ali: Ha? Sinong Jo-anne?
Blogger: Eh sino toh?
Ali: Si Ali...
Blogger: (3 seconds of silence. I think my heartbeat stopped for a while as well... and then...everything was back to normal) Ali...

Nung Sophomores na kami...we'd still go home together. Pero dahil nga di na kami classmates, my world grew bigger again. I met other people...made more friends. Highlight ng moments eh yung entreprenureal activities... me and some other girlfriends (Kat Exibia and Mabel Makil - miss you a lot girlfriends!!!) would be selling stuff to our classmates.
I became busier and busier.
By mid-schoolyear, I noticed as well that he has new circle of friends. Sina Ara, Marian and Sandra. Nung una, mejo yung territorial instincts ko eh na-tri-trigger. I didn't like seeing him having fun with others. I do not know how it developed but I started thinking of him as my bestfriend. Akin lang siya.
Yes, I know...I am freaky... pero ganun talaga ako nun. Posessive.
I relished the idea knowing that with one call...he'd be there...

Official member na ako ng Archery Team nung second year. And every time na may practice, he'd be waiting for me para sabay kaming umuwi. I knew nababagot siya...pero he'd still wait.
I got used to getting what I want when I'm around him... and thus I started taking his friendship for granted.

Naging mas madalas yung hindi namin pagsabay umuwi. Pag cleaners ako... inaantay niya ako. Pag cleaners siya... nakakalimutan kong mag-antay. Naiiwan siya. Nakita ko pa nga siya one time na naglalakad mag-isa... nakasakay na ako sa Jeep noon... then I saw him walking..

Blogger: Oh shit! I forgot that I'm supposed to wait for him! (guilty, guilty, guilty)

Yep...I'm an asshole. Gusto kong bumaba sa jeep...pero..naisip ko... kaya na ni Ali umuwi mag-isa. And I thought that he'd forgive me anyway. No matter what I did... he'd never stay mad at me that long anymore. After nung 3 month long na tampuhan... we sort of had a silent pact that we'd never have a fight that bad no more.


PART IV

Sunday, October 26, 2008

It Was Not Meant To Be...part 2


Hmmm...someone might be wondering why I'm writing all these. Well, sa totoo lang...I'm not really sure as well. I guess I just wanted these memories off my chest. And me writing it would help me...in one way or another.

The 3 month long tampuhan...

Ali is...was...er...pa'no ko ba sasabihin? Uhmmm...well, mahinhin. I was the girl but he tends to be the civilized one. Our classmates would usually tease him of being gay...I thought so too...but never voiced it out. I did not want to offend him.

One day, isang araw...I made that mistake...hayzzz...

Naglalakad kami papuntang Convention Center noon. We were supposed to watch something...our teachers said that we have to buy tickets and watch it or else wala kaming plus points.
Someone...another classmate...I think Dana was her name...was walking with us then. Since Ali and I joke each other all the time...I did not stop and think before asking him Dana's whispered question: "Bading ba siya?"

He got mad. It was the first time that I saw him mad. Tinapon pa nga niya yung popsicle stick sa akin. Arrrgh! Siyempre ako rin naasar. I was like: "Haler, dude, what's with the violent reaction??!! Just say 'NO'!"

Hindi kami nag-usap ng halos 3 months dahil dun. He refused to talk to me. My pride was too damned precious naman for me to say "I'm sorry".

Wala na akong kasabay umuwi. Wala na akong kaasaran. Wala nang laging nagpapatawa sa akin.

But back then...I didn't really know what I was missing. I thanked the moment when the Adviser rearranged the seat plan again. I made new friends. My world was bigger now...and I thought that I have to be more mature...thus I learned how to go home without holding on to someone anymore.


$$$ yey, patalastas!!! $$$

It Was Not Meant To Be

Questions, Questions...ish
Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagsimula yung subject matter...basta...one time...pauwi na ako...nakasakay sa jeep...at katabi ko ang isang matagal ko ng kakilala....since highschool.
Blogger: Sa San Vicente ka rin?
Friend: Di...bumibisita lang. Parent's ng husband ko. Dun sila nakatira sa San Vicente.
Di na ako nag-usisa. Sa 24 years kong pamamalagi sa aming "peaceful" barangay...ni minsan ay di ako gumawa ng effort para makilala ang aking community. Maybe it was how Mom raised us. Nung mga kids pa kasi kami...she'd usually forbid us to play with the kids in the neighborhood. Gusto niya, laging nakasubsob yung mga ilong namin sa libro.
Di naglaon...we grew up into...well..let's just say shy people. Hmmm...may mali dun...I'm not really shy....more of reserved...pag di ko kakilala yung tao...I would not bother being friendly...tipong ganun. Ano nga ba yun in simple terms? Snob? Hmmm...maybe.
Kaya I did not bother to ask Friend kung sino sa mga kapitbahay ko ang napakasalan niya. Any name she'd mention will just be meaningless to me. Anyway.....
Friend: Diba nung highschool tayo...naging kayo ni Ali? Kayo parin ba ngayun?
Blogger: Er...di naman kami naging official na kami.
Friend: Ahh...talaga? Well..what happened? You guys looked good together.
Blogger: (napaisip) Well...kami'y magkaibigan pa rin.
Friend: Pero diba you guys were inlove with each other? Ano nangyari dun?
Blogger: (Nyak? Huh? WTF!!? How the hell does she know so much?!! Ni hindi nga kami close ng girl na toh?!!!) Uhm...hehehe...it was not meant to be lang siguro.
Di na siya nagtanong tungkol kay Ali. Napunta ang usapan sa mga "scandal" at tsismis na lumabas nung mga HighSchool Days namin. Naungkat din ang mga pangalan ng mga batch mates na parang di makabasag pinggan noon...na naunahan pa kaming magka-anak ngayun...
Nang makarating na ako sa bahay...the subject about Ali won't leave my mind. Packsyet...napaniginipan ko pa nga eh...hayzzz.
And after the dreams, the floodgates opened and memories came rushing back.

1st Year HS - Magnolia Classroom

Nakikita at nakakasabay ko na siya sa jeep noon. He was always with a girl...whom I thought was his neighbor and probably his girlfriend. On the 1st day my high school life, I saw him again sa loob ng Magnolia Classroom
He was not interesting...he was just a familiar face.
Kaklase ko rin ang isa pang familiar face nung grade school... siyempre...dahil 1st day...scared - as in...uber insecure... I needed someone to atleast talk to pag break time...kaya naman tinabihan ko si Candice, my grade school aquaintance. And Ali was seated on the row right infront of us.
Nung pumasok na yung adviser ng class, she immediately advised that there will be some sort of seating arrangement. "This is to make sure that you freshmen people will make new friends and not just stick to your elementary friends..." -
yun yung sabi ni Miss Adviser.
CRAP.
Hindi ko nagustuhan ang idea. I was already too unsure and my anxiety level was already too high. Suddenly, being separated from Candice was unthinkable! And to think na halos rare yung mga moments na nag-usap kami during our 6 year elementary days!
Pero siyempre, the seat plan was followed. And Ali ended up as my seatmate. The Adviser's strategy was to arrange us in alphabetical order...his family name was Hernandez...we were the only kids in class with family names starting in "H".
When we were all arranged like dutiful little puppets...I decided na I wanted him to be my friend. Mabilis kasing umikot yung wheels sa utak ko. The second that I figured out that we'd be seated together for the whole school year.. I've already considered na dahil nakatira siya sa neighborhood..he can be my companion pauwi. Scared kasi ako tumawid sa kalsada mag-isa. With him by my side... well..and him being a guy...he can always take the side where the vehicles would be coming from... hehehe...selfish...I know.
Blogger: (Siyempre...di pa ako blogger nun...) Ano ulit pangalan mo?
Ali: Alejandro...pero Dre tawag nila sa akin sa bahay.
Blogger: Alejandro? (makes a face) Masyadong mahaba. San naman galing yung Dre?
Ali: Ewan ko.
Blogger: Tawagin nalang kitang Ali. Ang haba ng name mo eh.
And that started it all. Me christening him with a shorter name. Nung una...ayaw niya...I think it sounded wrong for him. Pero I'm hard headed. I kept calling him Ali until everyone in our batch came to know him as Ali as well.
He was smaller than me back then. 4'11" compared to my superior 5 feet height (ahahaha...yeah...I looked tall once...a long long time ago). He was also payatot...and I was chubby. He always teased me about it.
We became inseperable. We'd usually walk to our paradahan with his cousin (ito yung girl na lagi niyang kasama sa jeep nuon) and some other classmates. Pero we'd usually be walking side by side...me asking him never ending questions about his life.
Ilan kayong magkakapatid?... Ha? ...Andami naman!
San ka nag-elementary? ...Ahhh...duon pala...er...san yun?
Sinong crush mo sa classroom?...Nge..wala? Ako si Jed (giggle,giggle)
I felt soooo comfortable around him. We can talk about anything. After 3 months or so...we'd go home together hand in hand. Ala pang malisya nuon. Takot nga kasi akong tumawid sa daan...and I'd usually hold on to his arm pag tatawid na...until eventually...kahit di na tumatawid...hawak kamay pa rin.

We became the best of friends.



The 3 month long na tampuhan.
Er...I'm sleepy next time na ulit. Ho-hum (yawn, yawn).


PART II

Saturday, October 25, 2008

For my Superman..Happy Birthday mahal ko!!!



Iris Goo Goo Dolls
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
Verse 2
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Chorus
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Verse 3
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
Chorus
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Chorus
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Friday, October 24, 2008

CITADEL PARTY

NEW DEVELOPMENTS 
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....LET'S HAVE THE PARTY ON NOVEMBER 1, 2008. MAY APPROVAL NA NI OM...