NEW YEAR NA!!!

AHAHAHAHAH!!! Maligayang bagong taon sa inyong lahat!!! Sana'y ang lahat ay nagkaroon ng kahit isang masayang ala-ala sa 2008 para naman kahit papano'y hindi lang kahirapan at taas ng pamasahe't bilihin ang maalala sa taong ito.

Sana'y sa 2009:

umunlad ang mga naghihirap

magkaroon ng sapat na pagkain para sa lahat

magpahinga muna ang mga walang pagod sa pakikipag-giyera

mas tumatag pa ang mother nature laban sa mga mapag-samantala

madiskubre ang mga gamot para sa mga uber grabeng sakit

makarma ang mga corrupt 

ma-inlove ang mga tigang (para naman magkaroon na ng love life at sex life na rin)

manalo pa si Manny ng maraming laban...wakekekek

MALIGAYANG BAGONG TAON SA LAHAT!!!!

Hayun Eh!

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

STILL RESTLESS??!!!!

Naka-anim na pocketbooks na ako in a span of a week. OMG.
Paubos na ang 13th month pay ko sa kabibili ng libro para lang di ako mamatay sa boredom.
Packsyet na sakit ito. High maintenance!
ISH!!!

PROJECT FRENZY... still restless

Just finished an art work project. It was another attempt to appease my somewhat "hunger to complete things" fever that has afflicted me 2 weeks ago.
Grrrr. I'm still wondering what could have caused this.
They did say that the EBOLA strain from pork meat found in the market is not harmful to people, right?


This art work is a nice concept for a gift... especially that the Season of Giving is just a few days away. How do you do it?

First, you have to have a nice, plain, smooth wood where you could draw the outline of the figure that you would be working on. Then, you'd have to rip old newspaper into small pieces, blend it with water and dye and....ah, huh?
Oh, too hard?
Well, ok, fine. You can actually buy the materials in SM (Baguio--- duh?).
Then all you have to do is fill up the spaces with your desired colors.
The art work set usually depends on the size of the board. This set cost Php70 only.

FYI. The "heart" part was actually done by Glen. He's such a kid sometimes. He wants to try all the things that I do. Wakekekek. Then he gets bored and gets back with his play station.

PROJECT FRENZY

I'm not sure where this restlessness is coming from. Grrrrr. It's like I'm always itching to do something... complete something.
I have just completed the Vigan Scrapbook. Akala ko ok na eh... akala ko eh mejo magpapahinga na yung utak ko sa kakaisip ng kung ano pa ang pwedeng gawin.

Front cover of the scrap book. If you're asking if I designed and made it myself.... you are sooo mistaken. I am not that creative.

First page. In fairness, it took me sometime to look for the appropriate materials that would compliment the "Vigan" theme. I had to make sure that the background paper was not glossy, para di na niya i-out-gloss yung pictures. Tapos I had to look for sticker sets with vintage feel.

Heto na... this is a sample of one of the 18 pages of the scrapbook. The text are all handwritten... by me of course. Hindi ganun kaganda ang handwriting ng aking mahal na nobyo kaya di pwedeng sa kanya. Wakekeke.

This is another of those pages. Tapos ko na siya... at sabi ni Baby, we have to have the Hundred Island pictures printed para daw may gawin ulit ako. Hmmm... I secretly wondered if he just really liked how I did this one or if he just wanted me to be busy so that I'd stop pestering him.


Hayyzzzz.... what to do pa kaya?

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$$ patalastas $$

Tribute to a Friend - Ian Quinto, you will be missed.

Sandali lang tayo nagkasama.
Pero I still felt the loss...
Pano pa kaya sa mga taong talagang malapit sayo?
Sana, kung nasan ka man... masaya ka.
Sa susunod na pagkikita, dude.

Invisible To You

Hayzzz... ang kabataan nga naman. Ibang iba na talaga ang henerasyon ngayun. Dati-rati, si BOYLET ay kinakailangan pang magsibak ng kahoy at mag-igib ng ga-dosenang balde para lang mapalapit sa GURLAH. 

Ngayun... OMG... kulang nalang ay mag- lap dance pa si GURLAH para lang mapansin ni BOYLET!!! 

GURLAH: Coach, bakit siya ganun? Ang manhid niya??!!! Kanina pa ako nagpapapansin! Ni hindi man lang siya makaramdam!

Blogger: Baka naman kasi Judingger-Z ang papables mo?

GURLAH: Hindi coach.... lalake siya.

Blogger: Hmmm... looks can be deceiving, you know.

GURLAH: Eh si BOYLET po yun eh. Diba kayo din nagsabi na barako siya?

Blogger: Ay, uu nga.

Lumipas ang mga isang buwan siguro. Akala ko'y natapos na ang kahibangan ni GURLAH kay BOYLET. Ngunit isang gabi...

GURLAH: Hoy ano ka bah! Ba't ang manhid mo?!! Kanina pa kita inaayang sumayaw... ba't ayaw mo?

BOYLET: Ha? Di kaya... cge sayaw tayo!

(Background Music: Disturbia  by Rihanna)

GURLAH: Coach, bakit ganun? Pag kami nagsasayaw, ni hindi niya man lang ako hawakan?

Blogger: Sigurado ka bang hawak ang gusto mo o yapos?

GURLAH: Coach naman! 

Blogger: Hayyzz... kasi naman. Ang obvious mo kaya. 

GURLAH: Eh, I like him eh.

Blogger: Exactly! You like him and you're making it too easy for him. Tsk, di mo ba alam na ang mga lalake, they usually like challenges?

(After mga ilang dance music pah...)

Blogger: Tsk, pag nakikipagsayaw ka, wag masyadong mabilis... dapat slow and easy ang galaw. The goal is to seduce.... not to tire him.

(Tamang-tama namang tumugtog ang kantang Low by Florida.... subalit pagkatapos nito...)

GURLAH: Coach, ayoko na! Nakakainis siya. Ano ba ako? Invisible?

Blogger: Tsk, hay naku... kailangan mo ng crash course training sa "How to Deal with Boys - 101".

GURLAH: (halos mangiyak-ngiyak) 

Blogger: Hayaan mo na. Pasalamat ka nalang at kahit na halos i-alay mo na ang sarili mo sa kanya eh ginalang ka pa rin niya. 

GURLAH: (Sniff, sniff)

Blogger: Isa pa, if you're looking for someone to rid you of your innocence... wag na siya, he can break your heart in the process. 

GURLAH: Pero...

Blogger: Mr. Right will come along soon enough. Right now, let's just enjoy the music.

Freebies??

My Credit Card bill just came in today...

I owe the bank sumtin' sumtin' pesos and some cents.

Along with the billing statement, there were some sheets advertising some freebies that I could take advantage of this season.

Buy 1 FLAT SCREEN TV and you get 50% discount when you buy sound system.

I thought it was not bad. So I checked the TV price and it was like: Php42,000.

I checked the sound system price... Php20,569.75

Packsyet. No Thanks.

Then I go checking the other promos.

BUY 1 HD TV in any SM Dept store and you get a cake from Red Ribbon for free!!!

I go scratchin' my head... how much is the damned TV? 

Php19,599.50???!!

I'd rather buy the gawdamned cake from Red Ribbon!

Hayzzz.

$$ patalastas $$

F.U.C.K.

Did you know that the oh so famous vulgar word that has a version in almost all language in the world actually is speculated to have originated in 772 AD?

Yeah... it's a word as old as time.

According to historians, the word "fuck" was first used when an Anglo-Saxon king, King Offa of Mercia to be exact, granted land to a bishop.
On the decree, it was documented that the King granted the Bishop seven estates and one of them was named Fuccerham, a place where coupling and mating is condoned.

Hmmm... this is probably where they got the backronym (false etymology): Fornication Under Consent of King.

You might be wondering why I'm blogging about this. Let's just say it's one of those trivias that amused me.

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MORBID JACOB

Hindi ko kilala si Jacob. I just saw him sa isang party ng isang kaibigan. Pero ito daw ang kanyang kuwento.

(Disclaimer: Ang mga pangalan ay napalitan para protektahan ang mga tunay na katauhan sa kuwentong ito.... nyahahaha)

Nung High school... Christmas break noon eh... me and my girlfriends were dressing up for a grown-up party. Si Jam (totoong pangalan) ay anak ng isang may-ari ng radio station (wag na nating banggitin... baka mabasa ito ng mom niya at ma-bann ako sa bahay nila) kaya naman pag may party para sa radio station eh automatic na invited na kami.

Henyways... dun sa party ay napansin namin si Jacob. I never got to talk to him pero, kahit sino sigurong babae eh mapapansin siya. Matangkad, may dimples, mayaman, matalino daw at... oh yeah... mukhang model... yung tipong mga lalake na nasa gay magazines mo makikita. Wahahaha. Sinful thought, pero true. Hindi siya nung nasa picture. But this is the only pic that I could find that closely resembles him.

Anyway, me and my girlfriends were ooohing and ahhhing his looks when Jam said:
"Alam niyo ba, when I was a kid, I remembered his mom talking to my mom. I remembered that she mentioned something na may sa-demonyo daw yung anak nila."

Siyempre, ako naman:
Blogger: Halllerrr. Girl, are we not too old for ghost stories?

Candice: Why did the mom say that?

Lea: Baka naman may sadistic side si pogi.

Jam: Hindi eh...

Jacob was the only son of a couple na pag titignan mo, parang Aga and Charlene. Perfect match. Gwapo at successful ang guy. Maganda, sexy at mayaman din naman ang girl. Sabi ni Jam, during that night nung nakita niyang nag-uusap yung mom niya at yung mom ni Hot Hunky Jacob (itago nalang natin sa pangalang Charlene), umiiyak daw si Charlene. Para siyang nagpapanic na di maintindihan.

Paulit-ulit daw na sinabasi ni Charlene na nagsisisi na siya sa nagawa nila ng kanyang asawa (na itatago natin sa pangalang Aga).

Jerry: Ano bang nagawa nila?

Jam: Well, mom asked her the same thing. But she was too hysterical and it took an hour before she could say something coherent.

Blogger: You were an eavesdropper even as a kid?

Jam: Well, it was not my fault. They were too noisy and all I really wanted was to get water from the kitchen. It’s not as if I planned to listen.

Lea: Tsk. Wag ka na nga kasing kumontra jan, Vida. Dali na Jam, what were they talking about?

Parang nag-alangan pa si Jam nun.

Jam: Wag niyo itong banggitin kay Mommy ha. I think I’m not supposed to know this eh.

Candice: The secret is safe with us (sabay smirk).

Jam: I heard Tita Charlene admit na Jacob was not their 1^st child. She said that 2 years before Jacob was born , they had a kid who was not perfect.

Blogger: There’s no such thing as a perfect kid. They cry all night and poop all day.

Jam: (exasperated) Hayyzz. No, not that kind of imperfection. I think the baby was deformed. Kasi sabi ni Tita Charlene, di daw niya masikmura na tignan yung bata.

Jerry: Nge! Di naman kasalanan nung bata yun. What did Tito Aga say?

Jam: Tita Charlene said that her husband accused her of all sorts of things. Kesyo she was not careful during the pregnancy period. Kesyo she tried to get rid of the baby. Those things. Tita Charlene said that it really put a great strain on their relationship. Until one day, they both snapped.

Lea: Hmmm… nakakapanindig balahibo naman yan.

Jam: Sinabi mo pa. Wait till you hear the rest of the story.

Blogger: Don’t tell me they killed the baby.

Jam: That’s exactly what happened.

Candice: Grabeh. Pano nila natago yun?

Jam: Nasa States palang sila nun. Itinapon daw nila yung bata sa daan. Errrr… sa bangin to be exact. They did it habang may bagyo.. para walang makapansin.

Blogger: Oh my god.

Nasa isang table kami noon eh. Nagbubulungan tapos sabay-sabay na sumusulyap sa kinauupuan ni Jacob.

Jam: After 2 years, Jacob was born. And he was exactly what they wanted their baby to be. Perfect.

Blogger: Ok…. He’s perfect… but?

Jam: That night na andun si Tita Charlene sa bahay, mga 6 or 7 years old palang si Jacob nun. There was also a storm during that time. She said na nagising daw siya at andun si Jacob sa may paanan ng bed nilang mag-asawa. Nagising din daw si Tito Aga. And then Jacob asked them:

“Ma, Dad? Itatapon niyo ba ulit ako?”

It Was Not Meant To Be...huling kabanata

Paano na kaya - Bugoy

PART I

PART II

PART III

PART IV

PART V

Ang Pag-amin
This is my favorite part of the story.. pano ba naman kasi... sabi nila ... ang best time of your life daw eh High School... people were right. Coz all kakornihans happen during this time. Wakekekekek.

So, where was I? Ah... oo.. ang pangalawang sulat. Heto, walang edit dito.. as in eto yung mga exact words. Kinailangan ko pang halungkatin ang karton na halos may 8 years worth of dust...

Nov 21, 2000
8:20 P.M.

Vida,

Siguro by the time na mabasa mo 'tong letter, nasa Twin peaks na ako, o kaya nasa school pa rin. Pero one thing for sure, ayoko ng concept ng letter na 'to pero itutloy ko pa rin...

Siguro nga tama ka - we're too close for comfort, sobra na ang pagiging close natin (noon). Siguro yun rin ang reason kung bakit nagkakaganito ako.

Alam mo, sorry talaga pero, each day na nakikita kita, I'm falling in love with you and I can't stop it...(corny).

Can you blame me? Tao lang naman ako diba? Kahit paano alam ko ring main-love... pero bakit sa'yo pa? Bakit sa bestfriend ko pa?

Sorry talaga - hindi ko ine-expect na ma-i-in love ako sayo.

.........

I'm not expecting you to love me in return. I'm just going to wait until this fades away.

My reaction? Well.. I cried. Tsk. Uu... isa akong cry baby. I cried coz I felt like I've waited for so long to hear those words from him. And when he finally did... well.. hayun na nga.

Blogger: Oh my god...
Lelay: Bakit daw? Ano sabi sa sulat?
Blogger: Oh my god.. (sabay iyak... habang tumatawa...)
Lelay: Ano ka ba... para ka namang baliw eh...

Para talaga akong baliw... binasa ko kasi yung sulat sa may aparador ng walis at lampaso. Hayzzz. Can you just imagine? Umiiyak ako katabi ng mga walis... at nakaupo naman ako sa lampaso. LORD!

Lelay: (pagkatapos basahin ang sulat...) Aba.. sa wakas, umamin din ang kaibigan mong torpe.
Blogger: Pero ba't sabi niya he did not want it to happen?
Lelay: Sus! Eh alam mo naman kung gaano kataas ang pride nun! Kaya nga halus magtumbling siya nung nanliligaw yung mga officers sayo eh. Nasa denial stage pa siya nun... pero baliw na yun sayo dati pa.
Blogger: Ha? So yun yung packsyet na dahilan? He was already in love with me during that time? Bakit di nalang niya sinabi? Bakit may pa: "I don't want to be your friend... I don't want to be your friend" pa siya?
Lelay: Well.. ganun talaga. Gagu rin yun eh.
Blogger: Oh my god (LORD! Lumuluha parin ako... OMG. Parang kamatis pa man din ang ilong ko pag umiiyak ako)
Lelay: Ano na gagawin mo ngayun?
Blogger: Aamin na rin ba ako?
Lelay: Hindi ba dapat lang? Para naman lumiwa-liwanag ang pagkatao ni Ali. Ilang linggo na ring sobrang moody nun eh... nakakasawa na.

Umamin din ba ako? Ahahaha. Naman!

Nasa CAT office nun si Ali eh.. bumaba pa ako dun...

Blogger: Packsyet ka! Anong ibig sabihin ng sulat na toh?
Ali: Medic, you're in the office. What you're doing is insubordination.
Blogger: I don't give a damn! I want to know if what you wrote here is true.
Ali: (sulyap sa likod... nakatingin ang ibang officers) This is not the venue for this.
Blogger: (iiral ang katigasan ng ulo) Totoo ba nakasulat dito?
Ali: Eh kung hindi ka ba naman reyna ng dense! Malamang totoo yan diba?
Blogger: Eh bakit ngayun lang?
Ali: (taas ng kilay) It's better to be late than sorry.
Blogger: (hayzzz) Akala ko ba eh in love kay kay Jen (Heaven)?
Ali: I lied.
Blogger: How do I know you're not lying this time?
Ali: (ipinikit ang mata ng panandalian... parang humihingi ng pasensiya mula sa Diyos na Lumikha) What I did... what I just admitted.. may cost me your friendship... I cannot, will not lie about something like this.
Blogger: Well... it's just bloody time you admit it. Coz... I've been head over heels for you since Junior Year.
CO: (pumapalakpak) Salamat sa magandang palabas. Nakakakilig sana... pero istorbo kayo dito sa opis. At dahil jan, Haboc... 20 push-ups, now! Hernandez, give me 50!

Nyahahhhahaa. Syempre... mejo edited muli ang version na yan.

Pero all in all... ang daming feelings na biglang nagsurface...
Relief - kasi he felt the same way pala.
Happiness - coz finally, I thought we'd be together.
Worry - naisip ko... hindi ko pala siya pwedeng maging boyfriend. My mom and dad would die of heart attack (uber strict kasi sila noon).
Dread - malapit na ang graduation noon ... feeling ko.. we were just beginning to realize how deep the feelings were... and College might end it all.


College did end it all.


THE END
It was a relationship that could have been but there never was. Ewan ko ba... when the cards were all on the table already... parang hindi na kontrolado yung mga events.
Hindi kami naging kami. We agreed na wag na muna... not after college. Besides, Ali knows how strict my Mom was. He did not want to mess with my parents.

We started walking home together more often... and holding each other's hand had a kilig effect already... pero ang problema... parang masyado nang maraming bagay sa pagitan.

There were too many questions unanswered. Ang daming issues na hindi namin mapag-usapan kasi parang walang time tapos walang privacy.
Tapos isa pa... I felt like he was bloody afraid to be alone with me. Ish. As if naman gagahasain ko siya??? Halllerrrr???!!!

I felt like we were always looking at each other pero may glass wall between us. Laging so near... yet so far...

So hayun na nga... antayan, plus pride, plus a lot of friends, plus tampuhan almost all the time, plus summer without seeing each other, plus college na magkaiba kami ng course.... equals wala na.
We were just kids...trying to make adult decisions... ang problema, the decisions resulted to closing the romantic chapter and just keeping it to just plain friendship.

How it ended?
Well.. I think I finally got tired of always waiting for him...
I mean, it was College Years already. Unlike nung High School, na atleast may familiar face akong nakikita. Pero this time... wala na. Everyone was a stranger.

I took up BSIT course, during our freshman year, our batch composed of 21 sections. Akalain mo yun? Tapos, Ali was taking up a Human Sci course, he was in the same building as I was. Nasa Perfecto kami nun... yun nga lang... mostly 4th floor siya, ako naman 6th floor. Hayzzz... so near yet so far na naman ang eksena. Tapos mega-antay pa ako na sunduin niya ako... or ihatid.. or sabayan sa lunch... pero wala eh... alangang ako yung maggagagawa nun eh ako yung girlalu... halerrrr!
For 1 whole sem... parang feeling ko.. wala na akong ginawa kundi mag-antay. Everytime na lalabas ako sa classroom para lumipat sa next class, I was always half expecting him to be there. For a young heart that was so in love... the waiting was too much... until it finally ended the fantasy of having a happy ever after with him.

Nung nanligaw si Kel (ex-boyfriend from college) ... I could not help but compare. Kel was so sure of himself... na parang nothing would stop him. And he was never afraid to tell me what he was feeling. Andun siya palagi... parang he would not allow anyone to keep us apart.
And so hayun na nga... one day.. ako naman ang nagbigay ng letter kay Ali:

I'm sorry... I know we promised to wait for each other until we're 21.
Maybe all this was really never meant to be...

The letter was not that simple though. Mejo ranting letter din siya. Sinabi ko sa kanya na parang I felt like he was always so hard to reach. Na parang laging ang layo layo niya. Parang KPI na pag naabot mo na... may "Wait, there's more" pa pala.

I know my version about what happened during college is probably one sided. And it may be unfair to Ali. Pero... pag may blog na rin siya at gumawa siya ng version niya... sabihan ko kayo.. ahihihi.

One time, nakapag-usap kami ni Lelay.. she told me that Ali felt like di siya makasingit sa circle of friends ko nung College. During that time, I was like:

Blogger: Hano!!?? Anong di makasingit? What kind of rason is that?

Pero thinking back... maybe it was the truth. Maybe he thought that since I had new friends, I had no room for him any longer.

In the end... as much as I wished na sana.. iba ang ending... I would not ask Lady Destiny to change the events between the hands of time. Kasi kung sakali... baka di ito nangyari:

August 2006 - sa Shooters.. 1 week old palang yung relationship namin ni Glen.


September 2006 - sa Padi's. Bar hopping kami nung day na toh. He would always make a way to make our day-offs the same ...


March 2007 - sa Vigan, Ilocos Sur. Gusto niyang ipakita sa akin ang wonders ng Vigan. Galing na kasi siya dito.


Dec 2007 - Covelandia, Pangasinan. We went there together with his family. Saya dito!


Feb 2008 - Manila. This was in some nice hotel. Sabi niya he'd treat me to some vacation sa Manila... yun pala ay awarding niya... he was the Top Coach for RCN ng year 2007. Congrats baby!


April 2008 - Alaminos, Pangasinan. Kararating namin nung day na ito. We were at the Pantalan. Naghahanap kami ng pagkakainan actually.


April 2008. Quezon Island, Pangasinan. Heto na nung nakapunta na kami sa isa sa mga malalaking isla sa 100 Islands ng Pangasinan. Astig dito!!!

Siguro noon.. parang kulang nalang.. hamunin ko ng suntukan si Lady Destiny dahil sa pakekealam niya. Pero ngayun... I can't thank her enough. Naisip ko kasi na if she did not intervene everynow and then during the past... I would not be enjoying my present... and my future would be totally different.

-fin-

$$patalastas uli$$

$$ singit lang... patalastas$$

It Was Not Meant To Be...part 5

PART I

PART II

PART III

PART IV

4th Year HS - The Joining

Seniors na kami. Ahahaha. It had a nice ring to it. As usual, Juniors vs. Seniors parin. Last year, champions ang Juniors sa Cheering Competition (kami yun) at nakabonus pa kami. Dahil kasi sa pikon ang mga Seniors... binato namin sila ng mga water balloons... wakekekek. Pero anyway... reversed na. It was the year 2000.. ang taon ng Y2K virus. Ito ang school year na pinaka mahaba at pinaka-maikli at the same time.

Required na ang pag-join sa C.A.T. Required na ang pag-march-march sa ilalim ng mainit na araw. Ali was one of the officers. I forgot what his position was...basta, he was some sort of high ranking.

I did not like it at first, but then, dahil close na rin kami kay Alelie (Lelay), mas na-enganyo kami. And all of a sudden, the whole W5A was intrigued and excited to be one of the Medics. Well, aside from the fact na ayaw namin nabababad sa ilalim ng araw... being a Medic was actually fun!

When we were made official members of The Medic Squad... I also realized that Ali's world and mine have just collided ... or so I thought.


The Langaw is Now a Butterfly
I am a quick learner... and like I said... madali magdevelop ang aking defense mechanism... plus I'm a great friend - well, trying hard to be a great friend, that is. At any rate, I have decided to just stamp my feelings and just support my friend. I did not want any heart aches deepening the already wide gap between us.
In the meantime...

Caluza: Haboc, may gagawin ka ba mamaya?
Blogger: Sir? Uhm... meron po, sir... baket po? May training po ba ulit para sa Medics?
Caluza: Wala. (walk-out)
Lelay: Crush ka ni Caluza.
Blogger: Nyah??! Talaga?
Lelay: Wag kang ma-impress. Gagu yun eh.
Blogger: (salute) Ma'am, yes ma'am!

Tapos...
Cordova: Haboc, crush ko si dela Cruz (Jam) ...lakad mo naman ako.
Blogger: Sir, kausapin niyo nalang ho si Jam.
Cordova: O cge...ikaw nalang magbigay ng sulat na ito sa kanya. Wag ka na mag-march bukas.
Blogger: Packsyet na mga officers to...

Heto pa...
Lelay: Pinapabigay ng isang officer.
Blogger: Er...ano toh?
Lelay: Eh ano pa, eh di love letter!
Blogger: Nge!!! Akala ko ba bawal manligaw ng subordinate?
Lelay: Pag officers na, pwede na.
Blogger: Nyeta naman oh...

At ang pinaka-matindi sa lahat, mismong ang aming commanding officer!
CO: Haboc, pwede ba kitang maging partner sa isang ball for ROTC?
Blogger: (muntik nang maibagsak yung hawak-hawak na wooden gun...packsyet, magtanong ba naman ng OMG na tanong at manggulat sa formation mismo) Ho?
CO: Magpapaalam ako mismo sa parents mo kung gusto mo.
Blogger: Er....

Hayun na nga. Dahil nga siguro sa ang aming barkada (Jam, Leah, Agnes, Daryll, at Jerry) ay ang tanging mga medic na galing sa Science Section ...kaya siguro lagi kaming pinagtri-tripan. Kung hindi laging sinisita o pinaparusahan... lagi namang inaasar na liligawan ng kung sinu-sino. Hay Lord.
Feeling ko, ito yung nagtrigger ng "pag-amin". Bwahahahaha. Kung iisipin ko ngayun... nakakatawa talaga... pero nung nangyayari yun... gusto kong literal na patayin si Ali.


The Good-Bye
Isang araw, may binigay na sulat sa akin ang mokong kong bespren.
Ali: Basahin mo...
Blogger: Uhm...anu tu?
Ali: (walk-out)
Blogger: Packsyet.

At that time... I knew something was wrong. He had been acting weird for the past few days. Parang lahat ng manliligaw ko... may side comment siya lagi. It was flattering ... to learn that his brotherly instincts were being alerted...

Ha? Si Caluza? Dugyot kaya yun... di ka bagay dun.

Cordova? Uhm, I think hindi talaga si Jam ang target nun... isa pa... pleazzze.. you deserve someone with a higher IQ.

Yung isa mong manliligaw? Eh mute yun eh. Tingin palang sayo, di na makapagsalita. Ano yun? Loser. Tsk

Yung CO? Er... wala akong masabi. My silence says it all.

Siguro nga isa akong dakilang madhid. Ali and Lelay both gave warnings. But I did not listen... actually, I did NOT WANT to listen. I did not want to dwell on the fact that my bestfriend liked someone else.. I liked him... and I'll be damned if I will not entertain others just for the sheer amusement of it. Hindi ako martyr. I move on fast... kaya niya siguro binigay yung letter.

Sabi sa letter:
I know we've been having a lot of disagreements lately. And I know you probably think that I'm the biggest ass for always trying to hold you back from fully entertaining THEM. I'm sorry but I cannot really stomach seeing them... being with you. So from now on... I'd be distancing myself. You're free to do whatever you want.

Well, he did not really say it that way exactly... Ali's not that harsh, it was just how I interpreted it. I talked to him after reading the letter.
Blogger: What exactly do you mean by this letter
Ali: It's pretty straightforward.
Blogger: Di ko maintindihan.
Ali: (buntong-hininga ... ang mukha ay isang parang nahihirapang ipa-intindi ang isang simpleng bagay sa bata) I don't want to be your friend anymore.
Blogger: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Ali: (walk-out)

Ahahahahah. Again, it did not really happen that way exactly. It was a lot more emotional... grrrrrr.
I was crying my eyes out. Hindi ko gets! I thought: That asshole will not be friends with me anymore just because I'm dating some of his co-officers?!! Aba!!! Napaka-hypocrite naman ng gagung yun!!! Eh halos kulang nalang halikan niya yung lupang tinapakan ng packsyet na "heaven" niya. OHHHH!!!! The nerve!!!!

Oh yes... after the tears... came the anger. I thought he was unfair. After swallowing my feelings for him just so we could keep our gawdamned friendship...this is how he'd bloody pay me?!?
Nasa park ako nun eh... Burnham park to be exact. I was already late for my class. But I did not care. I made a decision... if this is what he wanted, then I'll be more than bloody happy to comply.


Friends No More...
The day after that "friendship break-up", I still could not believe what he did. But I did stop talking to him already.
For two whole days, I pretended.. quite successfully and convincingly that he did not matter no more.
Friend: Blab blab blab... blab blab? Blab! Bla-lalalla bbb!
Blogger: Ah really?
Friend: Uy, si Ali o...
Ali: (dumaan)
Blogger: Huh? May sinabi ka? I believe we were talking about our classmates that you saw making out dun sa may aparador ng mga walis at lampaso?
Friend: Ah oo nga... blab...blab blab... blab-blab...blab?

Friend2: Hey, pakibigay naman to kay Ali. Please tell him that he needs to submit that to me.
Blogger: Tsk... sorry... I'm busy.
Friend2: Huh? You're not doing anything.
Blogger: Hayna! Precisely! I'm busy doing nothing. Bigay mo nalang yan kay Ara.

Lelay: Sasabay ka ba sa pag-uwi?
Blogger: Kasama ba si the-one-who-cannot-be-named?
Lelay: Oo naman.
Blogger: Wag na.
Lelay: Hayzzz. Di pa ba kayo ok?
Blogger: Di nah.

Leah: Parang di na yata kayo nag-uusap ng bespren mo?
Blogger: Huh? Sino?
Leah: Si Ali.
Blogger: Hmmm? Uh, ako bang kinakausap mo?
Leah: Sino pa ba?
Blogger: Well... never heard of the name. You must be mistaking me for someone else that you know.

It was torture. Pero yun yung gusto niya eh...ako ay isang ever accomodating na kaibigan lamang... Tapos isang araw...
Lelay: Binabawi na niya...
Blogger: (kunyari dense) Ang alin?
Lelay: Hindi niya kaya.
Blogger: Ang alin?
Lelay: Ano ka ba! Eh di gusto na niyang maging friends kayo ulit.
Blogger: (balik sa pagbasa ng pocketbook) Sorry. Ayoko na.
Lelay: Ba't naman?
Blogger: Ano ako? Kanin? Pag mainit pwedeng iluwa tapos pag ok na, isusubo ulit?
Lelay: Pagpasensiyahan mo na. Compused lang siya.
Blogger: Compused my ass.
Lelay: Kinausap ko na siya. He's miserable.
Blogger: Well manigas siya. Pakisabi he can suffer till kingdom comes. I don't give a damn anymore.

Ahahahah... joke lang... it did not happen that way. Sa isip ko lang yun. Actually, yan yung tumatakbo sa isip ko habang kinakausap ako ni Lelay... at kasama si Ali nun.

Ang totoong pangyayari:
Lelay: Gusto ka niyang kausapin.
Blogger: Bakit daw?
Lelay: Para magsorry... at para bawiin yung katangahang ginawa niya.

Actually... si Lelay yung nagsalita for Ali... at siyempre, dahil sa di ko matiis. I had to ask:
Blogger: Why did you do it?

It was a question that was not answered.... atleast not until he sent me another letter...


FINAL CHAPTER

It Was Not Meant To Be...part 4

PART I

PART II

PART III

3rd Year HS - Sariling Mundo

It was something that was bound to happen eventually. Pagpasok namin sa Junior year...Ali was not Ali anymore.

Alam mo yung feeling na...you suddenly see someone like you've never seen them before?

For one, he was way taller than I remembered. And his voice... it sounded deeper. For the 1st time...yung concepts sa science textbook about adolescense took a different meaning... it happens pala talaga.

In a way, our Junior year emphasized that we were already approaching the dreaded moments...Graduation and College. Things were getting complicated. Our batch mates were not just having crushes...the boys were making ligaw and the girls were giving their matamis na oo already. I also realized that it was not just Vida and Ali anymore. It was Vida and Ali...and the whole world between us.

For me, I felt like everything was changing in a speed that I'm having a hard time keeping up with. Ali was not there all the time anymore. He became a member of the CAT. Suddenly, hindi na ako yung busy...siya na... and to top it all... they already moved out of the neighborhood. I remembered being depressed about that. But even back then... mabilis na talaga magdevelop ang defense mechanism ko over something that makes me sad. I decided that since he has found a whole new barkada...I'd be looking for my own din.

Nung 3rd year ko talagang nakilala at naging ka-close sina Jerry, Lea, Jam, and Candice...pati na rin sina Agnes at Daryll. We called our group, the W5A. Anong ibig sabihin? Wahehhhe...kinda corny...pero it meant Witches 5 Association. Nyaahahaha. Yeah...I know... we were so into anime and fantasies. Ewan ko... siguro isa siyang unconsious struggle to not grow up yet.

Tapos I became more active sa Archery Club. Tapos, 90% of my gimmicks were spent with the W5A. Tapos boys started catching my attention. And I noticed that I was also catching theirs. I guess this was when I started to master the art of "charming my way out" technique. Ahihihi.

Tapos ang dami dami pang activities... archery, yung school paper (errr...contributor lang...pero not an active member), mga school competition, projects, assignments, pocketbooks, sleep overs - slumber party, overnight para sa project (na kasama yung crush mo...pero di niya alam na crush ko siya), at ang dami dami pa.

In a way...I did miss Ali. I missed him more than I cared to admit. But at the same time... I was also having the time of my life.

Pero isang araw... I think I was about to go to the comfort room. Malapit na ang Cheering Competition noon. Nagsisimula na yung mga practice... pero di pa kami nagfo-formation sa Athletic Bowl. So pababa na ako sa hagdan nang biglang magkasalubong kami ni Ali.

It was the first time that I saw him wearing his fatigue uniform. Ewan ko ba... parang biglang naging void yung hagdan na kinatatayuan ko. I felt weightless. I was breathing too fast...or maybe I forgot to breath?

Ali: Oist! San ka?

Blogger: Er...CR.

He was standing infront of me then... and for the 1st time, I realized how tall he was.

Blogger: Ang tangkad mo na.

Ali: At ikaw naman, di ka na lumaki.

And then he smiled.

Buzzzzz. Buzzzz. Buzzzz.

The buzzing sound... it lasted for like 3 minutes. The whole time that we were talking. I was not hearing what he was saying no more. I was not sure if I was answering his queries properly. But judging by his laugh, I was still coherent... pero yun yung weird doon. Feeling ko dalawa naging ako... yung isa, yung bestfriend niya. Yung isa... someone falling ... for him.

Bwahahahaha. Packsyet!

Hoy Ali, pag nabasa mo ito...don't you dare laugh at me.

After nung faithful moment na yun...hay lord... the roller coaster ride started. It was not easy being with him or without him. Noong Cheering Practice... I had to exert an extra effort to make sure that he does not notice that I enjoyed seating next to him again. Simula pa kasi nung Freshmen year, basta Cheering na...kami yung magkatabi sa formation. Magalit na yung cheerleader at lahat... basta kami dapat yung magkatabi.

3 months before the end of our Junior Year... I could not deny it anymore. I was inlove with my damned bestfriend.

Kung Saan Ka Masaya, Suportahan Kita

After ng aking epiphany about my feelings for Ali, hayzzz... naging isang emotional battleground ang bawat paggising ko sa umaga.
Unti-unti ko ring naramdaman na yung security ng friendship ni Ali eh nawawala na. I realized na just like me...he also has his own circle of friends. Hayzz...tama sila, bilog nga ang mundo...kasi, I then realized that I am the odd man out. Pag nagsama-sama na sina Ali, Lelay, Ara at JL... pumapasok sila sa isang mundo na hindi ko mapasok.

Personally, it did not really matter that Ali had some other close friends. What bothered me the most was that he could not seem to confide in me anymore. Parang lagi na siyang naiilang sa akin. God...grabeh... it seemed liked I could literally hear my heart breaking back then... everytime I try to reach out..to somehow restore the closeness that we once had... and to just watch him drift father away.

The last straw was me learning that he was in love with his commanding officer in C.A.T. Nyahahha...juice koh! Feeling ko talaga nakalunok ako ng isang baso ng thumbtacks!
I still remember pausing... like I wanted to make sure that my heart was still beating. Or kung buo pa siya... kasi feeling ko lang eh parang may mga pieces nito na nagsilaglaggan sa lupa.

Lelay just showed me a picture of Ali's so called "heaven". She was really pretty. Feeling ko, isa akong langaw kumpara sa isang magandang paru-paro.
Damned! I just realized na best actress na ako noon pa. Coz I was hyperventilating inside, panicking, crying... but outside, I was smiling. I even cheered Ali on... even suggested that I can be a bridge to his flighty butterfly.
Blogger: Ang ganda niya... ano pang pumipigil sayo para ligawan siya?
Lelay: Torpe nga yan eh.
Ali: Officer ko siya... bawal yun sa C.A.T.
Blogger: Tang'na... buti naman.
Ali: Huh? May sinabi ka?
Blogger: What? Wala noh... I just said to hell with the rules. It's as if naman nasa totoong army kayo.
Lelay: Isa pa... nanliligaw din ang isang officer dun sa girl.
Blogger: Punyeta. So crush ng bayan pa pala siya? Crap. Tapos Senior pa siya. Why can't she just get her claws on her own kind and not look at Ali anymore?
Ali: Ano bang binubulong-bulong mo jan?
Blogger: Wala tol... ang sa akin lang...kung talagang mahal mo... go for it. (sabay walk out... the goddamned acting was taking it's toll... my eyes could not hold the tears much longer anymore).


PART V